I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
