she was so not down for the gang bang
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
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her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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