Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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