Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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