Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
