dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
