this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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