I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
