Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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