Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
