i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
