I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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