Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
