No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
