sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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