every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
