Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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