ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
