she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
