whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
