I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize