So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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