Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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