i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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