Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
