Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
