i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
babies were throwing up all over the place
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
