It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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