So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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