Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
