I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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