i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
