I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
