they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
