I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
