Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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