He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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