There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
no, he came in my armpit
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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