She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
