I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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