Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Randomize
