The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
