Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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