i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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