And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
