I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
