I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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