cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Don't make out with my wife yet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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