Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
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im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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