You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
