are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
