I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
