Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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