At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish i was in the wii world.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
