this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
