all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
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Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.