I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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