You're so nebulous sometimes
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
