I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
