i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.