we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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